Monday, February 14, 2005

Birthday Trip Blues

Kim planned a surprise get-away for my birthday on Friday, February 11th and all I knew was that it involved us staying in a hotel room for a night. So noon on Friday we packed up the car and took off. The surprise location? Calabogie Peaks Resort!

What's that? No, no, Kim and I are not downhill skiers. I mean, I used to when I was younger but Kim is terrified of the concept. The thing is, Kim sees the word "resort" in the name of the place and it conjurers a vision, especially when she reads all the things we could do besides downhill skiing: skating, tubing, cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, indoor pool and outdoor hot tub. As well as our very comfortable room. She didn't quite get the concept that the whole point of the resort is the big freaking hill with snow on it, and the rest was merely window-dressing.

But it was a good intentioned idea and I was happy and willing to make a good go of it.

We got there in the afternoon and checked in. Our room was amazing, with gas fireplace, lots of space, huge windows, and a jacuzzi tub. After checking in we walked around and checked out the resort, finding the skating area. Basically what they did was scrape the snow off a couple adjacent tennis courts and flood the area. It was OK for us, but not great skating. After skating it was 5:30 and we decided to try and find some food. This is where things went downhill very fast.

The restaurant in the lodge is very formal, and Kim and I are very casual people. Not wanting to risk the hoighty-toighty atmosphere with our jeans and sweaters we decide to drive into town and eat at a local bistro that was advertised on the internet. Get there ten minutes later and the windows are dark and newspapered over. Uh oh.

We saw three other eating establishments on the way into town, but two of them were holes in the walls and not exactly birthday dinner quality. In fact, I don't think it was healthy-eating quality either. The third restaurant called Buckhorns looked a bit more respectable, and the posted menu outside on the wall had a decent selection of food including the regular hamburgers and fries as well as Chicken Teriyaki which caught Kim's eye. It wasn't the Keg but it would do. We opened the door to be assaulted by a wall of cigarette smoke. It was disgusting. We beat a hasty retreat and went back to our hotel. Side note: can't wait until smoking in public places is banned province-wide.

When we get there we check the menu of the restaurant there but they have some Valentine's Day menu with food that didn't appeal to Kim and I with our peasant-like tastes. The closest thing to appetizing for us was a chicken dish, but it had a strawberry brie sauce. I don't even know what brie sauce is, much less why I would want strawberries in it.

We were a little frustrated now, but after quick consultation decided to get takeout from Buckhorns and eat back at the room since it had a nice little dinning table. We call up the diner and try to order the Chicken Teriyaki for take-out only to be told, "Sorry, we only do take out for Hamburgers, fries, and wings." Not exactly my ideal birthday dinner.

We decide that we have no choice: hoighty-toighty food for us, jeans or no jeans! We head downstairs to the restaurant and get seated, comforted by the fact that some other patrons are not formally dressed either. However, this is where the fun really begins.

Our order is not taken for thirty minutes after we are seated. We never got the drinks we ordered and had to make do with water (which they filled often to be fair). We ordered the chicken with no sauce and with rice instead of yams, we got chicken with the sauce and with yams (but they realized the mistake and brought us side dishes of rice). The meal took over an hour to arrive so when it came wrong we were very nervous about sending it back for fear of starvation. The chicken was absolutely tasteless despite the weird sauce. And it cost a lot money. We were not impressed.

So, after three hours of looking for food we finally returned to our room demoralized and tired. We spent the rest of the night enjoying the creature comforts of the room which made up a little for the earlier experience.

The next morning we get up and start getting ready. Checkout time? Call the front desk and find out it is 10 AM. What!?! Check in time is 4 PM, and we have to be out by 10 the next morning? We pack up our stuff and take it to the car and checkout. Its now 10 AM, and what should we do for breakfast? Run the risk of the hotel restaurant after last night's debacle? Hardly, but we have no choice other than to head home. Fed up, we climb in the car and head back to civilization. Kim was depressed because we hardly did anything in the resort, I was frustrated with them for ruining her plans, and generally we were quite miserable.

By the time we got back to Carleton Place we were both in a funk, Kim because her big surprise turned out so badly and me because she was down in the dumps. Kim mentioned her parent's were going to downtown Ottawa to look at the snow sculptures and although it wasn't my idea of a birthday fun time I pretended it would be fun because I knew Kim likes spending time with her folks and it would cheer her up. We met for dinner at Swiss Chalet and I splurged a little and got some chicken and ribs for a birthday dinner. And it only took 30 minutes from walking in the door till I had my food! With drinks! What a concept. I suggested to Kim that they should rip that restaurant out at Calabogie and put in a Swiss Chalet, would have made our experience a lot better.

So that was my Birthday Adventure (TM). Next year we pack emergency meals!

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