Wow, this blog is still here? Anyone still listening? Probably not.
Oh well.
I'm going to use this blog to record my thoughts about how I plan to finally, FINALLY, get healthy again.
So. SO SO SO SO.... it all came to a head this past year.
My goal/dream of being a Jiu Jitsu Sensei sort of died as it finally seemed to be coming to fruition as I went to the first session and discovered the time commitment to accomplish the goal would be more than my poor wife could handle. Missing multiple Saturdays over the summer and fall? Yeah, that's a non-starter. Speaking of poor Kim, she's had a rough go of things this year, especially the fall, requiring more time off from work and more pressure to make up the time instead of having 2 hr lunches. On top of all that, work has been very busy. So the upshot of all that disappointment and time crunch stress is that my time at the dojo dropped off dramatically for the second half of 2013.
Then Kim had her gall bladder emergency which took weeks to resolve, and then Christmas was looming, and I just stopped going to Jiu Jitsu altogether. No time, no motivation, no hope.
So the little bit of weight I lost and healthy steps I made in 2012 were pretty much wiped out by the end of 2013. Back over 235 pounds, out of any shape, and full of bad eating habits.
So there I was, facing the end of 2013 in terrible shape physically and emotionally and looking ahead to my 40th birthday in February. "Dear god," I thought, "I'm going to be OLD!" I remember my mother turning 40 quite vividly as I was 19 at the time and in college. It was old and I was young. Now I am old. I don't feel old in my head, but I'm starting to feel it more and more in my bones.
And my kids are starting to really notice I am fat.
"Daddy, you are fat."
"Yes, son, I am."
"Why daddy?"
"Because I don't get enough exercise and I don't eat well enough."
What kind of role model am I? How can I help my children navigate the hazardous of healthy living and eating if I'm an out of shape blob?
Just as all of this was forming a gestalt in my head this fall, my uncle Mark, my mother's youngest brother, had a visit to the hospital for heart issues. He's OK, but he's large bellied like me and only a decade or so older. It kind of sat in the back of my mind... I'm running out of time.
* * * * *
At this point in my story, something interesting happened at work. I've become notorious for my Coke Zero drinking addiction at work and one of my team mates challenged me to go a week without any soda drinks at all. Now, I was feeling all this turmoil to begin with so I thought "Yeah, let's do this!" in kind of a CHALLENGE ACCEPTED mood. I upped the ante right there and said I would not touch any coke or cola from then (Wednesday) to next Friday, 10 days Coke free.
And I did it. Against the expectations of everyone. No cheating. I went ten days and it was hard at times, the caffeine withdrawal headache was a killer, but I managed and I did it. And afterwards, I decided I would no more drink soda during the week, only on weekends.
And that's when it hit me that it was time to get real about my health. It was time to stop indulging in the chocolates, chips, large portions, and snacking and get back to healthy eating. It was time to stop relaxing every lunch and get back to the dojo and exercising. It was time to lose real weight and get in shape.
So in a terrible cliche I made the resolution that come New Year's Day I would start counting calories again and I would no longer put work ahead of my health. I would no longer be lazy instead of exercising. I would lose weight; my initial goal is 180 lbs.
Can I do it? How will I ring in 2015 in twelve months?
