the "huggy" cult...

If you're sitting there wondering what the heck "the huggy cult" is...it's my family, according to Bill. You see, I am part of a wonderful, loving, close-knit family...and we are an affectionate bunch. We always hug and sometimes kiss each other upon greeting and when saying our goodbyes. I'm used to it...it's how I grew up so it's what I've always known...and I like it.

Bill's family is also a wonderful, loving, close-knit bunch. They just aren't the most affectionate family. They're definitely not "huggy". The only ones in his family that seem to hug on a fairly regular basis are his mother (who wasn't always like that) and his grandparents on his father's side. Needless to say, Bill didn't grow up being used to hugging people all the time...and he doesn't like it.

Naturally, this causes tension for Bill when we get together to visit my extended family, like we did this past weekend. It seems that when it's just my sister and mom looking for a hug it's uncomfortable but not unbearable for him. But when it comes to many aunts, cousins and grandmas...it is most definitely close to unbearable...especially when it comes to a select few. There is another member of my family, an aunt who married into the family, who is also not a "huggy" person. She's been in the family for so long that she's gotten used to us but still isn't all that comfortable with all the 'touchy feely' stuff...(although her husband and kids are). I wonder if Bill will ever get to that place???

We're not a cult...Bill was just joking about that yesterday with our friend Keri (who is also not a hugger). I think it's hard for each of us to see the other person's point of view on this. I talked to my mom about it and tried to explain how uncomfortable it makes Bill...and that maybe she cannot press for a hug too often. It's not that he doesn't like our family, hugging just isn't his way...we may come from a huggy family, but he does not. I keep hoping that he will grow accustomed to it, but he hasn't seemed to in 11 1/2 years...so maybe I'm just hoping and dreaming. At the same time, Bill doesn't understand why my family is so insistent on hugging him. It's because they love him and accept him as a part of our family...and that's what our family does.